Bad News

      Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, it gets worse. I've gone and done it this time. I failed the Drugs and Diseases final and did it hard. This final that was supposed to be the easiest of all three exams we were to take this semester and despite all the hours of studying I put in for this reason, I got the worst grade in the class. I'm ashamed and I don't even know what to do.
      My friends are the only reason why I'm still holding on to a shred of hope. But honestly, thinking about my talk with my college counselor tomorrow...I'm afraid. There's a good chance that I may be left behind a year to catch up on my grades. Maybe she'll advise me to take up a minor to boost up my math and science grades. Yet, this means that I won't be able to graduate with my friends. There is a chance though, a faint chance...but a chance. Based on my grades that I received, I have a 59.45 average and I need a 60 to pass. This means that if just one more question is corrected on that final, I'll pass the course. Looking at my past luck though, if that happens, it'll be a miracle.
      One of my best friends accompanied me to take a look at my score and when I told him that I failed, he didn't believe me. Then he looked at it himself and told me to take a breath. From that point on, he was trying to motivate me and make me feel better. I tried to review my test but I just didn't have it in me to challenge any of the questions. Plus, it's been a week. How can I pull any of that information out of my ass? Especially if I failed. They didn't even let me look at my original paper so I could tell them whether or not I filled in the scan-tron correctly. All the other students were walking past me saying that they got B- in the class and wishing they got better scores. I just sat there like a dumb-ass with my face to the floor. Afterwards, I took my friend to Shea stadium and gave him his first driving lesson, ate some dinner, and came home to drink a beer with my roommate.
      The talk with my roommate about my situation was well needed. It perked me up and caused me to force myself to turn a new leaf. From this point onward, I'm going to do what it takes to graduate. I didn't know how to study for all of this efficiently but now, I'm going to study with other people than just studying by my lonesome. I still feel like shit though and it's right that I do feel that way. I should feel that way. Oh yeah, there's a good chance that the kitten has one of these things: cold, glaucoma, herpes conjunctivitis, or cloudy eyes.

Blue Valentine

      This is the first time I'm doing three posts in a day and I'm kind of proud of myself. What do you say? Are you proud of me? This is going to be yet another movie post. I don't know what it is about today but it just seems like a movie day to me. I'm telling you, it's movies like "Blue Valentine" that get me all twisted in the head. I don't even know what to say. I'm telling myself that I should leave give myself some room to have what I just saw just marinate in my head and do the entry tomorrow. But on the other hand, I may not even want to think about it tomorrow. So the sooner I do this, the sooner I move on. You see how this movie affects me, it's pathetic actually.
      "Blue Valentine", directed by Derek Cianfrance and released 2010, was a story about the complicated relationship between Dean and Cindy, who are played by Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. I think "complicated" is a very inadequate term for this because it implies that, although difficult, there is a way to get through it. I can't even seem to put a finger on it nor do I know where to pinpoint the problem. My mind is a complete question mark. Cianfrance just left me lonely, vulnerable, and furious all at the same time which certainly can't be legal can it?

      Just to make this clear. This is NOT a family movie. You shouldn't be watching this with your children. Just because Gosling is in the movie doesn't mean the story is going to be a fairy tale. He freaking blew me away with this one. He was born for this role and that's all I have to say about that. He should share some of that excess talent with the other guys sharing the red carpet. I'm pretty sure he'll have just enough left over to make me watch all his movies a hundred times over, like a slave. Anyway, I had my doubts about Gosling's "Drive" but after this movie, I'm sure he'll do just the same with me with that one. So, definitely, expect a review on his new movie soon.
      There was an inexplicable power to this movie which I believe stems from it's simplicity. To me simple movies allow for a different kind of feel. It's not straightforward anymore like action thrillers or horrors, here even in the silence, there is a full blown conversation going on. I'd rather watch a horror than to sit through something as deep as this and get mindF*&$ed. This was a very honest film and brilliant scenes scattered  perfectly throughout the whole movie. What I loved about this movie is that every scene mattered and added something to the story. Michelle Williams. You would turn a guy like me inside out. I would literally go crazy if I fell in love with someone like Cindy.
      I won't start talking about what I liked about the story because I fear that I'll put out too much information. Just know that I loved it and I want you guys to watch it to draw your own conclusions. There you go. Press the replay button? Heck yes. This movie had me thinking about how far I was willing to go to hold on to a promise, a commitment, that I will make with my future wife. You know what, I'll hold on with my dear life. This movie reminded me that simple love, although life changing, is the deadliest of all and should be pursued with a little bit of caution.