Sigh

      I know, I haven't been writing for the last couple of days. Life's roller-coaster has been forcing me into sharp turns and loops. I just haven't been myself. I have some good news and some bad news. Which first? Let's go with the bad news. I recently took a Drug and Disease Midterm on Infectious Diseases, which I had been studying for two weeks straight. I felt confident through the test and yes,  there were some parts which were a bit cryptic, but overall, I thought I did ok. Turns out I didn't. It was a major flop. It's not that I didn't learn the material, it's just a factor of choosing A and B instead of just A. I still haven't got my grade back but I am anticipating a very low grade.
      The good news. You remember a couple of posts ago when I told you guys that I most likely failed my first Drug and Disease section? I passed it. I passed it by an inch but I did it. I actually found out after taking the recent midterm which made me feel that much better. Well, I have to go back to study. I'm changing up the way I'm studying now by studying everyday. There is no way that I won't dominate this next test! But what's really on my mind is the Compounding midterm that is going to take place this Friday. Guess how many chapters are going be on it? 23. I'm just going to end with that.

Bad News

      Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, it gets worse. I've gone and done it this time. I failed the Drugs and Diseases final and did it hard. This final that was supposed to be the easiest of all three exams we were to take this semester and despite all the hours of studying I put in for this reason, I got the worst grade in the class. I'm ashamed and I don't even know what to do.
      My friends are the only reason why I'm still holding on to a shred of hope. But honestly, thinking about my talk with my college counselor tomorrow...I'm afraid. There's a good chance that I may be left behind a year to catch up on my grades. Maybe she'll advise me to take up a minor to boost up my math and science grades. Yet, this means that I won't be able to graduate with my friends. There is a chance though, a faint chance...but a chance. Based on my grades that I received, I have a 59.45 average and I need a 60 to pass. This means that if just one more question is corrected on that final, I'll pass the course. Looking at my past luck though, if that happens, it'll be a miracle.
      One of my best friends accompanied me to take a look at my score and when I told him that I failed, he didn't believe me. Then he looked at it himself and told me to take a breath. From that point on, he was trying to motivate me and make me feel better. I tried to review my test but I just didn't have it in me to challenge any of the questions. Plus, it's been a week. How can I pull any of that information out of my ass? Especially if I failed. They didn't even let me look at my original paper so I could tell them whether or not I filled in the scan-tron correctly. All the other students were walking past me saying that they got B- in the class and wishing they got better scores. I just sat there like a dumb-ass with my face to the floor. Afterwards, I took my friend to Shea stadium and gave him his first driving lesson, ate some dinner, and came home to drink a beer with my roommate.
      The talk with my roommate about my situation was well needed. It perked me up and caused me to force myself to turn a new leaf. From this point onward, I'm going to do what it takes to graduate. I didn't know how to study for all of this efficiently but now, I'm going to study with other people than just studying by my lonesome. I still feel like shit though and it's right that I do feel that way. I should feel that way. Oh yeah, there's a good chance that the kitten has one of these things: cold, glaucoma, herpes conjunctivitis, or cloudy eyes.

I Still Remember

      This one is dedicated to one of my best friends who is going through a rough time right now. He just got out of an almost three year strong relationship. It's going to be tough but it wasn't your fault. Remember, life's a long time. Just know if you need anything, your boys will always be here for you.

I Still Remember

It hasn't been that long

Since I saw a full smile on your face.

Yet it only took an instant

for you to give up the chase. 

I still remember the time.

Remember? When I would have given even my heart to you?

You meant the world to me.

Yet you, so easily, tore me in two. 

In me hides a longing for things to be as they started out,

When you said "I love you" because you wanted to. 

Here I am bearing out my heart

But you won't listen to me will you? 

Why'd you chose distance over me?

Why'd you chose the silence over my own voice?

Are you satisfied

To have played with my mind and pride like they were toys?

I still remember who you used to be,

Now just a foreigner by your own frivolity.

But I won't shed another tear for you, not one.

Watch me, I'm moving on with all my dignity.