Remember

      The past couple of days have really put a thought into my mind. A thought in a form of a question. Where would we be without our friends? I have a great couple of friends and sometimes we just sit on a couch just talking or sometimes just doing nothing. I have friends that I could only talk to online. These people are there for me day in and day out, no matter what shape I'm in or what I've done. If there are those of you who think one could tread through life alone, he can't and all he will be in the end is by himself. I love those around me even if I don't show it enough. This post is not because Thanksgiving is around the corner but I just felt like it tonight. We don't really make ourselves. Our identity is made by everyone we hold close to our hearts. We stand out because of those guys. I take them for granted sometimes but there's always a point in our lives when we can't escape that fact. I don't want to run away from it nor am I going to. I'm going to embrace it just as they embrace me.

36 Wings?! Is I stupid?

      Forgive me if some of my sentences come out as incomprehensible or just plain redundant because: 1. It's too early in the morning. and 2. I have reached my maximum gastric capacity which makes me extremely sleepy. It was three weeks in the making but finally, I had my first experience at Hooters today. When I was younger, I thought of Hooters as if it was a strip club in which resided fairly young big breasted women. It was always considered a place I secretly wished to go to and never dared to bring up in a conversation. What? I was an ignorant, puberty directed boy who had nothing better to do but think and dream about these things. For those who are thinking right now, "He is seems like he hasn't changed one bit" I would have agreed with you a couple of months ago, but not anymore. (Don't take that seriously, it's a joke guys.)

      I am forever enlightened. I don't think Hooters as a strip club anymore but a place where champions are born. Care to explain more, you awkward buffoon? It was only recently that I was told that every Monday, Hooters has a wing buffet special that costs about what? ten dollars? My roommate and two of our very close friends had already gone to Hooters before, without me, those bastards. I was at work at that time. It was rumored that my roommate had a cows stomach and ate twenty five wings, which didn't impress me. I was determined to beat that record. 

      Once we stepped inside the...what do you call Hooter's anyway? A social area with food convenience? A restaurant? I don't know but whatever it is, we stepped in it and the competition had begun. Let me tell you how we scored this. Drumsticks and actual wings both count as one point each. Pretty basic, right? I love drumsticks so I stuck with them for the most part, I think I ate about ten or so actual wings segments. My roommate loaded his plate with chicken bones pretty fast so both my other friends, who were looking on, were very doubtful of my victory over him. But never fret, it wasn't over. 

      Let me try to remember what seasonings we had...Hot, Spicy Garlic, 9/11, Daytona, BBQ, and Samurai. I think if it wasn't for the flavorings, I would have been able to eat a good five more. Nevertheless, I ate till I felt like throwing up and then ate five more. My friends were both very concerned but urged me forwards. What friends, huh? (It may not seem it but they are the best of people.) After both of us exceeded our capacity, it was decision time. And it was a.....a tie? It was a good thirty five points each and there was two wings left on the dish in front of us. My roommate took one and I just looked at the final wing in disgust. FOr that one moment I hated wings with an unrelenting passion and then I ate it. Afterwards, I put down money and carefully went outside to get some air to create some distance between me and all the others just in case my stomach decided to say "uh-uh". I didn't want anyone else to have involvement in that delightful experience. 

      In my eyes, even though I didn't beat my roommate, I did destroy his previous record and gave my friends a good mental ass-whooping. The thing is though, tomorrow, they'll still be talking about how I bad I felt after the wings not considering that I ate so many.Our friendship, there's nothing like it and life wouldn't be the same without it. 

How Far Will I Go For Friends?

      What would I do for the ones close to me? You can't comprehend the number of times this question has popped up in my head and all the answers that I've come up with. Ideas of self-sacrifice have fiddled in my mind, pretty dark huh? Ever encountered that one guy with the superman complex that just wants to save everybody. You're reading one of his posts and I know it sounds ridiculous but it is what it is. Weird? We are talking about the intangible depths of my mind here, so if this didn't come up as somewhat of a surprise to you then you are on hell of a job reading me.
      I'll tell you guys of a e story that most of my friends already are privy to. I'm hoping that it'll help you guys gauge a part of my personality. In my freshman year of college, I made the choice of walking for miles to find one specific bag of Potato Chips.  Why should a guy, who is supposed to be working hard to retain a 4.0 GPA, go out of his way to walk for a good three hours to find chips? In what world would that be logical?
      I had a friend, let's just give her the name Amy, who made a mistake. She assumed that the bag unopened chips in the dorm room, which was bought by her roommate by the way, was up for grabs. After taking a couple of chips, her roommate came in and made a fuss about how Amy shouldn't use things that isn't hers or at least ask before using them. After I came to know about this, I put it upon myself to save the situation by purchasing the same bag of chips for Amy to give to the roommate to appease her error. So the next three hours were dedicated to hunt for a large bag "Lays Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips".
      These chips are fairly popular, don't you think? I thought it would be quite the simple operation. (Shaking my head.) No No, I was wrong. I found small bags of these chips but the large ones weren't being sold anywhere. I know because there isn't a store I didn't strip search. After tiring myself out, I opted for "UTZ" version and thought to myself, "If she doesn't accept this, she has got to be the biggest biotch of all time. Who doesn't like "UTZ" Sour Cream and Onion?" To conclude this boring-ass of an anecdote, I don't know whether or not she actually gave them to her roommate. She might have just eaten it.
      When my friends are in a bad place, I try to help the situation. Sometimes, I just do whatever comes first to my head. They might not seem like much but I do enjoy doing it and seeing them smile because of it. When I see that they are entertained, I feel as if I am doing something right. So how far will I go for those close to me? If I was a car, with a full tank, I would drive till every last bit of gasoline has been used. It doesn't even matter about the lack of moola in the bank account or the increasing price of gasoline. Without our friends, who the fuck are we?

Monopoly Masta!

      Unfortunately for three of my friends, yesterday night didn't go quite as planned. I will gladly explain. After sitting down for good two hours dwelling in the carnivorous land of Applied Therapeutics, I received word that two of our friends will be coming over to visit. I know, I still have another, what, thirteen hours worth of studying ahead of me? But after what happened the night before... I wanted to exact some well deserved revenge.
      This past weekend, I stopped by Barnes And Nobles to buy some board games. I have horrendous aptitude when it comes to such games but I believed that it would be a nice addition to the new place. With that said, welcome to the family, Monopoly and Bananagrams! Don't knock Bananagrams, which some of you might be tempted to do. I absolutely love playing that game. Later that night, my roommate convinced me to play Monopoly with him. Since it was a brand new set, he wanted me to christen it...What a load of bullshit. Behind the scenes, he wanted a chance to exert his dominance in the game. Truth be told, for the next two and a half hours that's exactly what he did. He showed me how far one can walk down the path of the devil because of this game. I believed possession of the soul was characterized by long and arduous bouts of the soul against the devil's hold but I was proven wrong. In just a matter of moments, my roommate traded his amiability and self control for insatiable ruthlessness.
      After obliterating any chances I had at building a Monopoly, he stated that he will think about trading properties only after I land on one of his properties. Let me make that clear. I would have to pay up at least one thousand dollars so that he could give me a monopoly out of pity, since pretty much all the properties he owned had hotels on it. Although I knew the end was inevitable, I played till the bitter end. As the victor, he reserved the right to be called "Monopoly Masta" and, annoyingly, wouldn't let me forget it. But if I knew what was going to happen the following night, I would have gone through all the badgering with a grin on my face.
      To make a long story short, until the next time I lose in Monopoly, you may address me as the long awaited "Monopoly Masta". You should have seen his face after I cleaned him out, it was the face of pathetic defeat. He still had properties, although mortgaged, after landing on my path of utter destruction. But the pride was sucked out of him and humbleness eased back into place. You can also call me the healer. That is, if you want to. It's not mandatory but it's certainly an option. Who knew? Monopoly does sometimes deal success to those who are flagrantly tossed to the side by the Scrooges of society. But you know what I truly got out of this experience? That I'm hours behind in my studies and although it was a strategy game, Monopoly will do nothing for my midterm next week. Agreed? Agreed.

Super Roommate

      It's been a week into the new school year and I finally unpacked my last box of essentials. I'm glad the owners of our last residence told us to beat it because of some financial issues. Don't ask. It's complicated. The good news is, I love it here. I'm probably not going to move out of this place for the next three years. It's just the kind of place that I can enjoy living in. With a peaceful atmosphere, non-confrontational neighbors, and immense amount of parking spaces, which I am not used to in the city area, this place has an aura about it that I can't get enough of. My roommate and I are slowly making this basement, own own. We were quite lucky to find this place actually. 

      Two months ago, before I left for India, we were set to rent a room in a house that was just a block away from where we are now. A couple of days before I set out for my three week trip abroad, I met with the landowner and gave him two months rent which he asked from both of us. It wasn't that bad of a place. I would have had to share the house with seven other guys but at least we had freedom, right? Two days after I landed, I checked my email and sure enough, I received a very "loud" message from my roommate stating that we had a major problem. Supposedly, the douchey landowner, who still had my money, backed off on the deal. As you may guess, this spilled out unwelcome trouble because school was just a little over a month away and I was in another country. 

      But never worry, it was through the hard work of my roommate that we eventually found this place. This is where it gets entertaining. After a couple of long nights sifting many second-rate apartments on Craig's List, my roommate started to become nervous. Concerned, his father told him that he should start looking through the Chinese newspapers that were lying around the house for apartment and house openings. Eventually, that path would eventually lead us to buy a basement with a Chinese oriented family living upstairs. It wasn't that easy though. My roommate had to convince the landowner that his roommate, although Indian, was very Americanized and doesn't make potent smelling dishes for dinner...???...Apparently, the East Asian community doesn't approve the smell of Indian food.

      So, we were about to be rejected because of my stifling method of nourishment, which I don't even know how to make. They eventually caved and gave us the "ok" to move on in. Imagine how I would have felt if they refused him because of me? On the other hand, that wasn't a fair question. You barely even know me. But today, I love where I am because of the hard work of my unrelenting roommate. (He doesn't let me forget it though.) I owe him big time. The more I think about it, the more I believe that we are where we are today because of generosity of the people who decided to support us along the way. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go ahead and spend the next fifteen hours trying to understand Applied Therapeutics. 

At War with Inconsistency

      There are things I absolutely hate about going back to college but then there are things I don't mind returning to. Trying to explain the feelings that flow through me when I meet my, tight knit, couple of friends is very difficult. It's just us four guys. We have known each other since our orientation three years ago and I still have a vague memory of the first time I met each of them. If you're not someone that I talk to on a daily basis, I most likely won't be able to recognize you the second time I see you. Not even if we talk for two hours the night before. Don't expect me to know your name, it won't happen. If you understand that then you'll know how important still having a memory of how we all started out is to me. These guys bring me to a place of peace, no effort involved. When we're together there's this sense of fullness that I get and it's a feeling that I want to have for a long time.
      Unfortunately, you have to take the good with the bad. You can't bribe reality. To me, going back to school means more half-hearted all-nighters and motivational videos to narrowly get me by. To find success this year in school, I have to be a new person with a new way of thinking. I can't take things lightly anymore and I have to be mentally rejuvenated. My discipline is as structured and polished as one of a fourteen month old baby. That has to change and it is changing as we speak. Playing keep up this semester is key because of the heavy course load and fleeting time. It'll be too easy for me to be left behind. Guess what? A total of three classes has passed me by and I have went to all of them. Thank you. Thank you. What's more? I didn't go to sleep yesterday until I finished reviewing the lectures that I had the "pleasure" of attending. First day of school and already attaining herb status? But this is what's going to happen every night for the next year and a half. This is what better happen.
      As of yesterday, I'm officially at war with my problems with consistency. I will be on top of my classes this semester and I will break this vicious cycle of mine. I have no other choice. At the rate I've been going, I've been acting like I could wing it and make it to the finish line. It's not going to happen this time like it did many times before. I might just get kicked out of the program if I don't rid myself of that attitude. It's time to grow up and show up.

I Still Remember

      This one is dedicated to one of my best friends who is going through a rough time right now. He just got out of an almost three year strong relationship. It's going to be tough but it wasn't your fault. Remember, life's a long time. Just know if you need anything, your boys will always be here for you.

I Still Remember

It hasn't been that long

Since I saw a full smile on your face.

Yet it only took an instant

for you to give up the chase. 

I still remember the time.

Remember? When I would have given even my heart to you?

You meant the world to me.

Yet you, so easily, tore me in two. 

In me hides a longing for things to be as they started out,

When you said "I love you" because you wanted to. 

Here I am bearing out my heart

But you won't listen to me will you? 

Why'd you chose distance over me?

Why'd you chose the silence over my own voice?

Are you satisfied

To have played with my mind and pride like they were toys?

I still remember who you used to be,

Now just a foreigner by your own frivolity.

But I won't shed another tear for you, not one.

Watch me, I'm moving on with all my dignity. 

White Benches and Shallow Lakes: Part 1

       Hey, I'm back from a pretty sweet weekend in Manchester Township, New Jersey. Every summer, the church folk go on an outing for a night or two to strengthen their fellowship with each other. For me, it was the chance for me to get away. It was my last chance to shed life's problems and bask, uninterrupted, under the sun before the beast that is school devours my time.
       As we pulled up, my eyes were set on auto-lock to one thing, the shoreline. Filled with white benches and inviting docks, the beach was just what I needed. I pictured myself lying down on a reclining bench under the shades of a tree either reading a book or watching the treeline till my eyelids get heavy. Right away, I realized that a different type of peace inhabited this place. It wasn't the manipulated peace that I receive when I enter the confines of my room but it was a stubborn kind of peace. You have no choice but to let it surround you when it wants to.
       My life seemed to be slowing down by the minute. No more running, it just turned into a slow pace. I started to observe those around me. I haven't seen my church members in a while, some of those who I grew up with almost seem unfamiliar. My work schedule coincided with church and it used to be a problem for me. Guilt usually weighed on me every Sunday I failed to show up but not anymore. I don't feel the same way about church as I once did, something has faded.
       But there I was, in this place where the winds were unpredictable and the thunder was roaring through the sky. However, there was no sign of rain. There was a sense of secrecy within this place. I didn't know what it was trying to hide from me and what I'll be leaving with.
       To my surprise, I met a good friend who I haven't seen in a long time. So much for a quiet trip. I've known her through the years but it seems as if our relationship hasn't changed much since we were kids. We still interact with each other the same way we did in the fourth grade. Through my Sunday School years, I believed that she was the smartest girl I knew. She wouldn't come some Sundays but I do remember being happy when she did. Now, she can't stop making fun of me. It's amusing actually.
        As we got further into the night, the darker and heavier clouds started to bully the worn out sun behind them. A campfire was lit, the marshmallow bag was ripped open, and the festivities started. I'll let you in on a small tradition that we do when standing around a campfire. The parents tending the campfire will actually cook with its flames. They place plantains and yams within the smoldering wood and set it there until they are warm and soft. All this is totally normal to us and I personally love it.
        The winds were unpredictable that night and there was a slight drizzle. They started to carry the smoke and vapor straight into my eyes causing them to sting and well up. Getting the point, I then walked toward the shoreline where I entered into a conversation of reminiscence and memories. Sometimes, to reignite latent friendships one has poke at memories that reside in the stuffing in your brain, somewhere in there. Pop the right one and you won't stop laughing until morning. A good laugh is all it takes to wake up a sleeping relationship.
     
     

India Trip Day 6: ..."Me Jareyu" (...I'm Leaving)

      "Despite having been tortured by the weather and the humidity here, I have come to the realization that we made a little home for ourselves here. In a couple of hours we are going to have to say our goodbyes to Monachen Uncle, Glency (who I now call GD), Glaison, and Gracy Aunty. Shucks.
      Remember when I told you that I'll make a friend out of Glaison? Well here you go. We were just talking to each other about music, the photos I took during the trip, relationships, dreams, and our goals. We were dying of laughter at one point. He's only been with us a day and when it comes to family, one day just isn't enough. We just hit it off. As I was charging my cameras in the hotel lobby, he came down and we talked for about a good hour or so. I learned a lot about him. He's in school for engineering and he's been getting coaching classes for the profession since the 8th grade! But his real interests lie in creating music, playing badminton, and government. He wants to make a difference in this country. He sees that there are politicians in high standings who don't do anything but bicker about the other guy. He wants to be that hero that propels this country into a kingdom with the likes no one has ever seen. He has great vision and a heart of honesty. I would follow him. I learned all this in just a few minutes. That's all it takes when you talk to the ones you trust. I hope he does the thing in which he places his heart. He better talk to me through emails like I told him to as I was leaving.
       I don't think GD wanted to address the fact that we were leaving. We were all standing in the lobby about to leave and when she came down the stairs she wouldn't look at us, she just went straight for the newspaper. Wherever Glency goes in life, she's going to bloom like the lotus in the summertime. I say lotus mainly because that's her favorite flower. I asked her if she ever wanted pets to take care of and she said, "No, I like plants and taking care of them." She's driven, super confident, won't take shit from anyone, and very knowledgeable. She has a pure heart and a steel attitude. Solid in what she believes in and tough to the touch. And she should be, we all all have the same blood in our veins. Seriously though, she has the qualities that I want in myself. If I was around her more, maybe I would have caught on myself.
        Monachen uncle...I don't really know where to start with him. I don't even know if I could end if I begin either. Some of the things he says makes us forget that we're heading in different directions in a couple of hours. He annoys me when I'm busy doing something or when I'm busy doing nothing. Out of nowhere, he would slap the area near me very hard and scare the crap out of me. I got a great candid picture of him, which I am keeping, with his disapproval, for a very long time.
        Gracy Aunty is as serious as she is humorous, very. Having the perfect balance between the two is freakishly difficult but she proved it otherwise. In times of hardship, she stands like a tower. She isn't scared of anything which I know is where GD gets it from. In times of need, she's the one that stands tall in front of everyone. Literally, I think she's taller than I am. Actually, that's not really saying much. My mom looks to her when she is in a bad situation, it's going to be rough seeing them part. They couldn't stop hugging each other when they first met in the airport.
        We're eating our last breakfast with each other. I'm being a bit of a drama queen, aren't I? I don't know the next time we'll see each other. But when we do, even though our finances, personalities, and state of minds may be different, the fact that family is family will never change. When we're together, we'll have each other to lean on and support. We spent only a moment with each other but it is a moment we'll always look back on.
         I'm sitting down in the airport lounge area right now. My stomach hurts really bad right now, I think it's because of the hot pepper and the sweet syrup I ate before. Don't ask.
         During our touring, we bought something from a small boy selling products on the street. It's something that changes its shape if you push or pull segments of it. We've been playing with it ever since we got it. The bad thing is that it breaks apart really easily since it's only strings of aluminum with ends like semi-closed hooks. By the end of the day, it had no resemblance to what it looked like when we first bought it. I fixed it today morning and wanted to give it back to GD but she told me that I could keep it. It's very special. The more I thought about it, the more it symbolized the relationship what we two families shared. Even though sometimes there maybe brief spaces between us or breaks, it could always be put back together giving a beautiful product. I have to stop being such a sap.
        Flight 465 isn't going to be ready to board for another hour and forty five minutes. Time is slowly floating by. My sister and I took a tour of the airport shops and by the time we were done, only fifteen minutes had passed. My mom right now is laying passed out on my sister's shoulder and I don't know where my dad went. Soon we'll be in Kerala, the state which harbors pretty much all of my family. It's hard enough letting just one family go, now I am going to be tested with more than 20 others...sigh. The freaking flight is delayed by another hour and a half. Seriously, Air India, seriously? I thought we look out for each other."