At War with Inconsistency

      There are things I absolutely hate about going back to college but then there are things I don't mind returning to. Trying to explain the feelings that flow through me when I meet my, tight knit, couple of friends is very difficult. It's just us four guys. We have known each other since our orientation three years ago and I still have a vague memory of the first time I met each of them. If you're not someone that I talk to on a daily basis, I most likely won't be able to recognize you the second time I see you. Not even if we talk for two hours the night before. Don't expect me to know your name, it won't happen. If you understand that then you'll know how important still having a memory of how we all started out is to me. These guys bring me to a place of peace, no effort involved. When we're together there's this sense of fullness that I get and it's a feeling that I want to have for a long time.
      Unfortunately, you have to take the good with the bad. You can't bribe reality. To me, going back to school means more half-hearted all-nighters and motivational videos to narrowly get me by. To find success this year in school, I have to be a new person with a new way of thinking. I can't take things lightly anymore and I have to be mentally rejuvenated. My discipline is as structured and polished as one of a fourteen month old baby. That has to change and it is changing as we speak. Playing keep up this semester is key because of the heavy course load and fleeting time. It'll be too easy for me to be left behind. Guess what? A total of three classes has passed me by and I have went to all of them. Thank you. Thank you. What's more? I didn't go to sleep yesterday until I finished reviewing the lectures that I had the "pleasure" of attending. First day of school and already attaining herb status? But this is what's going to happen every night for the next year and a half. This is what better happen.
      As of yesterday, I'm officially at war with my problems with consistency. I will be on top of my classes this semester and I will break this vicious cycle of mine. I have no other choice. At the rate I've been going, I've been acting like I could wing it and make it to the finish line. It's not going to happen this time like it did many times before. I might just get kicked out of the program if I don't rid myself of that attitude. It's time to grow up and show up.