In all the mess that was happening the past week, I forgot to let you guys in on something. Guess to came to visit? MJ's brother kitten. I don't know the name of the little one... Was it Bucky? I may have told you guys, but when all this cat business started, my friends playfully called me "heartless" for not taking M.J's brother in as well. "You just can't separate family" they said. My reasoning was the following: 1) We don't have enough money to raise one cat properly, let alone two. 2) We don't even know if the landowner upstairs will allow cats. 3) They're going to make too much noise. 4) Did I mention the money aspect? Do you how much vaccinations and neutering costs?
A couple of days later, this just happened to be a topic of discussion a couple of minutes before Recitation class. I confided in one of my good friends about the kitten and she was ecstatic. Fact is, she wanted a kitten too to surprise her parents with. (That didn't turn out so well.) So, we gave her a couple of days to think it over until she was ready to give us an answer. She called and said that she is seriously considering taking the brother kitten in. We then told the owner about her interest and presto! A new home for the kitty. But this is all supplementary information. This is not what I really want to talk about.
What I really want to talk about is M.J.'s interaction with her long lost brother...Bucky? We all thought that they were going to roll around together, touch noses, and make up for lost time but we were gravely mistaken. M.J. is just one nasty kitten. She did something that I never saw her do, hiss. She actually hissed at her brother. Who taught her to do that? Who did it? Let me at him. It's either that or we have to change the way we engage with her. I think throwing her in 720's has to stop, maybe that'll help things out a bit. Don't quote me on that. It never happened. Ever. So there it is. Now, I'm going to get some rest before my 7:30am laboratory tomorrow, a full three hours worth of it.
Showing posts with label kitten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kitten. Show all posts
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Feeding Steroids to M.J.?
I was warned that kittens grow rapidly but this can't be normal. Because of my Drugs and Diseases Final on Wednesday, this is the last thing I should be thinking about but I am given no choice. When M.J. lays by me with that protruding belly of hers, I can't help but ask. What is Purina slyly adding into their dry food formulation? Dianabol? Or is it Winstrol? Which one?! The fact of the matter is that the answer doesn't reall matter now. The effects have already kicked into full throttle. My once cute little kitten is rapidly evolving into a thick skinned saturated saber-tooth that sleeps three fourths of the day. It was once considered cute when she tries to bite me but now she's digging deep. When was that? Like a week ago?
Opting out of getting her de-clawed when I got first got her was a bad idea. I thought, hey, a cat without its claws is a sledgehammer to the pride of a feline, even if it's a female. I should have thought twice. I have two pairs of dress shoes. The first, I have worn to shit and I don't really care what happens to it. The second pair is the moneymaker. I keep that one in great condition and use it only for special purposes such as interviews, special familial occasions, and formal celebrations. As of now, there are a total of eight holes on its surface. The heck? She went on to shred them right in front of me as well. They didn't even have a chance, it all happened in a split second.
Afterwards, like nothing happened, she contently takes a nice dump in the litter box. What a life, huh? So simple, so annoyingly innocent. "Are you angry, my dear sir, at the fact that I clawed through your perfectly maintained shoes? Look deep into my large greenish blue eyes and have your heart warmed. Are you done? Now go get me that new toy that you bought over the weekend bitch!" Moral of the story, crash diet. I wouldn't dare but a scratching post, as soon as possible, would be a great start.
Opting out of getting her de-clawed when I got first got her was a bad idea. I thought, hey, a cat without its claws is a sledgehammer to the pride of a feline, even if it's a female. I should have thought twice. I have two pairs of dress shoes. The first, I have worn to shit and I don't really care what happens to it. The second pair is the moneymaker. I keep that one in great condition and use it only for special purposes such as interviews, special familial occasions, and formal celebrations. As of now, there are a total of eight holes on its surface. The heck? She went on to shred them right in front of me as well. They didn't even have a chance, it all happened in a split second.
Afterwards, like nothing happened, she contently takes a nice dump in the litter box. What a life, huh? So simple, so annoyingly innocent. "Are you angry, my dear sir, at the fact that I clawed through your perfectly maintained shoes? Look deep into my large greenish blue eyes and have your heart warmed. Are you done? Now go get me that new toy that you bought over the weekend bitch!" Moral of the story, crash diet. I wouldn't dare but a scratching post, as soon as possible, would be a great start.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Damn you M.J.!
I may have stated, in one of my previous posts, that I learn things the hard way. Want some examples? Let's see...I could give you answers to the following questions with supporting experiential proof: Why do you not microwave eggs? Why should you not wear shorts and a see through hoodie during thirty degree (Fahrenheit) weather? Why should you not eat forty McNuggets thinking everything is going to turn out great afterwards? Why should you not pull two consecutive all-nighters to study for an upcoming exam and decide to fall asleep a couple of hours before taking it, thinking you could wake up? Now you can add another one to this ever-so-growing list. Why should you not hold a kitten when you're trying to give it a shower?
How could I not understand something so simple but can explain the effects of Folic acid and Vitamin B12 deficiencies on the DNA and RNA synthesis platforms fifteen times over? I was naive to think that M.J. would be different from other kittens. In my head, she would be that one kitten that does backstrokes in the bathtub. Come on, water? Please, M.J. loves to stay dermally hydrated. Uh Uh! Damn, she almost cleaved my forearm clean off my body with her nails. I'm telling you, I'm spoiling this little one with my lack of common sense. I'm giving her extra portions and little treats for being a good sport. When I'm not doing that, I'm letting her sleep in my bed at night. After that, I let her wake me up at 5:30 in the morning and she has the audacity to puncture my skin and leave my roommate unscathed? Hell, he was holding the shower head.
Right now, she's sleeping comfortably on my thigh. I just had a study session with my roommate on anti-platelet factors and mechanisms and there were times when I had to break concentration to grab a piece of plastic out of M.J.'s mouth. Sometimes she would jump onto my lap and start clawing at my legs. I want you to imagine a curved needle. Got that image? Now I want you to mentally insert that needle into the side of your thigh. Did it? Now pull up! ...All the things I do for this beast. Despite all these things, she never fails to jump into bed and sleep beside me. It doesn't matter in what shape or form, the female gender confuses the shit out of me.
How could I not understand something so simple but can explain the effects of Folic acid and Vitamin B12 deficiencies on the DNA and RNA synthesis platforms fifteen times over? I was naive to think that M.J. would be different from other kittens. In my head, she would be that one kitten that does backstrokes in the bathtub. Come on, water? Please, M.J. loves to stay dermally hydrated. Uh Uh! Damn, she almost cleaved my forearm clean off my body with her nails. I'm telling you, I'm spoiling this little one with my lack of common sense. I'm giving her extra portions and little treats for being a good sport. When I'm not doing that, I'm letting her sleep in my bed at night. After that, I let her wake me up at 5:30 in the morning and she has the audacity to puncture my skin and leave my roommate unscathed? Hell, he was holding the shower head.
Right now, she's sleeping comfortably on my thigh. I just had a study session with my roommate on anti-platelet factors and mechanisms and there were times when I had to break concentration to grab a piece of plastic out of M.J.'s mouth. Sometimes she would jump onto my lap and start clawing at my legs. I want you to imagine a curved needle. Got that image? Now I want you to mentally insert that needle into the side of your thigh. Did it? Now pull up! ...All the things I do for this beast. Despite all these things, she never fails to jump into bed and sleep beside me. It doesn't matter in what shape or form, the female gender confuses the shit out of me.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
The Not So Hostile Takeover
It has yet to be a full three days and M.J. (the new cat on the block) has already marked my room as her new playground. No no, when I say "marked", I don't mean designation through urination. I mean the "Hey, I'm just letting you know, from now on this is my pillow so you can go fetch yourself another one" kind of marking. Get it? Fetch?...Sigh.
She's unpredictable and outrageously curious. When I arrive from a long day at the classroom, I'm at a complete loss when it comes to knowing where to look first. At times, she's curled up in the corner underneath the mattress in a perfect circular formation. Other times, she's traps herself in a crevice in the bathroom. There are even times when she hides herself in the darkness of my closet floor. Yesterday, I couldn't locate her and I had already I checked the usual places. Where could she have been? I opened up my closet again to double check and there she was, on the top most shelf! I know she's one hell of an athlete but there's no way she could have reached that shelf without some major acrobatic skills. Or maybe, just maybe, she just clawed up my neatly pressed dress shirts to get there? That aside, I did smell something funky in closet, for all I know she could have...You know what? I'm not going to finish that.
Thank the good Lord that she's toilet-trained. I don't know if this is a common trait for every kitten but every time M.J. goes to the bathroom, she let's everyone know that she is. She meows exactly two times before she goes and fools poor old me into thinking that she's afraid of her predicament. Meanwhile, she's just taking a good ol' dump in the small cardboard litter box we have set up. Come on, we're college boys, we can't afford a nice hard plastic litter box for the little Queen. When she's not announcing her bathroom visits, she keeps herself busy by telling me what not to do. When I'm on the computer watching YouTube videos when I'm supposed to be working on my lab report, she jumps on top of the desk and proceeds to sit on my laptop. Then, when I go to back to work and start to write notes, she lays down on my papers. So, exactly what am I allowed to do M.J.? I won't be surprised if there's a human leash sitting on my counter-top tomorrow as her "Congratulations on the New Kitten" gift to me.
She's unpredictable and outrageously curious. When I arrive from a long day at the classroom, I'm at a complete loss when it comes to knowing where to look first. At times, she's curled up in the corner underneath the mattress in a perfect circular formation. Other times, she's traps herself in a crevice in the bathroom. There are even times when she hides herself in the darkness of my closet floor. Yesterday, I couldn't locate her and I had already I checked the usual places. Where could she have been? I opened up my closet again to double check and there she was, on the top most shelf! I know she's one hell of an athlete but there's no way she could have reached that shelf without some major acrobatic skills. Or maybe, just maybe, she just clawed up my neatly pressed dress shirts to get there? That aside, I did smell something funky in closet, for all I know she could have...You know what? I'm not going to finish that.
Thank the good Lord that she's toilet-trained. I don't know if this is a common trait for every kitten but every time M.J. goes to the bathroom, she let's everyone know that she is. She meows exactly two times before she goes and fools poor old me into thinking that she's afraid of her predicament. Meanwhile, she's just taking a good ol' dump in the small cardboard litter box we have set up. Come on, we're college boys, we can't afford a nice hard plastic litter box for the little Queen. When she's not announcing her bathroom visits, she keeps herself busy by telling me what not to do. When I'm on the computer watching YouTube videos when I'm supposed to be working on my lab report, she jumps on top of the desk and proceeds to sit on my laptop. Then, when I go to back to work and start to write notes, she lays down on my papers. So, exactly what am I allowed to do M.J.? I won't be surprised if there's a human leash sitting on my counter-top tomorrow as her "Congratulations on the New Kitten" gift to me.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Her Name is M.J.
Ok. Ok. I'm allowed one mistake. I took my dear time to finally realize that the little kitten was actually a female "in disguise". She had me fooled. I'm not about to make up a dozen excuses why I thought the malnourished one was a male. I'm just going to own up to my mishap there and just leave it at that. I'm not about to tell you that it was all the previous owners fault! He should have done a better job delineating the gender to me. Look at me being a complete and major asswipe. I love you Chris but you should have fed it more than once in two days!
We needed to name her right away. I want her to learn her name as fast as possible, which from what I heard, is pretty difficult. So, I had to make lower my impregnable standard and choose the name my roommate wanted, M.J. Being the goof-ball he is, he wanted to name the kitten after Micheal Jackson thinking it would be funny. Not to knock the late "King of Pop", I just didn't feel comfortable to name the four month old after him. I don't know, maybe it was because...the kitten is a female! I'd rather name her Mia. What a standard right? Later on that night, my good friend and I were driving to the gym for a late night workout and I pulled up the topic.
Supposedly, he liked the name M.J. as well. So after thoughtful deliberation, I agreed on the name, but on one condition. MJ is to stand for Mary Jane. I'm certainly not in love with the Spiderman series but someone had to come half-way for this little devil to have an identity. After being forced to type in the name Mary Jane on the Google search-engine by my roommate, I then realized that Mary Jane is another name for the chemical Cannabis Sativa. In layman's terms, it's some Bambalacha y'all! I'm of a pure soul so it's only natural that I'm totally oblivious to these things.(Audience laughs here. God laughs even more.) Without further ado, we now introduce to you our cross-gendered, racially confused, pot smoker.
We needed to name her right away. I want her to learn her name as fast as possible, which from what I heard, is pretty difficult. So, I had to make lower my impregnable standard and choose the name my roommate wanted, M.J. Being the goof-ball he is, he wanted to name the kitten after Micheal Jackson thinking it would be funny. Not to knock the late "King of Pop", I just didn't feel comfortable to name the four month old after him. I don't know, maybe it was because...the kitten is a female! I'd rather name her Mia. What a standard right? Later on that night, my good friend and I were driving to the gym for a late night workout and I pulled up the topic.
Monday, September 19, 2011
You are not going to guess...
How many days has it been since I wrote that entry about wanting a kitten? Like two? Well, guess what? Looks like we have a third member to our family here in the "Basement"! Yep, we got ourselves a fine young lad of a cat and I know what you might be thinking. "Wasn't he the one that just said that he wasn't financially ready for a cat?" That was me all right. It was also I who was practically jumping for joy when I heard that a friend that was willing to give us a cat, no questions asked, no money exchanged. My roommate looked at me and I gave him the immediate sign of approval, a smile two miles wide.
There were a couple of "sound" reasons why I jumped at the opportunity. First, I'm a complete idiot. Secondly, the friend who gave us the kitten said that if we can't handle it, we can give the kitten back. Thirdly, who am I kidding? I wanted to recreate my childhood and live it the right way. The third one is a little far-fetched but you know what I mean. Want to know about the young lad?
He, yes it's a boy, doesn't have a name yet. My roommate and I are currently working on it with no apparent success. I disliked all the names he came up with and the ones I came up with don't fancy his requirements. The little one's black with a white nose, paws, and belly. Even the skin leading from his eyes to his ears is white, on both sides. He has light blue irises and he's full of curiosity and is fearless. When we first saw him, he was hiding underneath a couch that has a bottom only a couple of inches off the floor. How he got under there is beyond my comprehension. But he was just "chillin" there. As we speak, he's sleeping in the corner of my room, underneath my bed, curled up into a ball. Look he just got up and is making himself comfortable on my favorite pillow, oh wait, he just climbed on my back. (I'm laying down right now.) Oh no...What have I got myself into?!
There were a couple of "sound" reasons why I jumped at the opportunity. First, I'm a complete idiot. Secondly, the friend who gave us the kitten said that if we can't handle it, we can give the kitten back. Thirdly, who am I kidding? I wanted to recreate my childhood and live it the right way. The third one is a little far-fetched but you know what I mean. Want to know about the young lad?
He, yes it's a boy, doesn't have a name yet. My roommate and I are currently working on it with no apparent success. I disliked all the names he came up with and the ones I came up with don't fancy his requirements. The little one's black with a white nose, paws, and belly. Even the skin leading from his eyes to his ears is white, on both sides. He has light blue irises and he's full of curiosity and is fearless. When we first saw him, he was hiding underneath a couch that has a bottom only a couple of inches off the floor. How he got under there is beyond my comprehension. But he was just "chillin" there. As we speak, he's sleeping in the corner of my room, underneath my bed, curled up into a ball. Look he just got up and is making himself comfortable on my favorite pillow, oh wait, he just climbed on my back. (I'm laying down right now.) Oh no...What have I got myself into?!
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