The "whatever, once I pay off these loans, I'm out of here" mentality is slowly fading away as I dive into the world of entry level jobs that just require a high school diploma. I went into work today to do inventory and one of my co-workers approached me. (She knew about my position.) She proceeded to tell me about how her daughter curses herself everyday because whatever money she makes, only pays for the interest on her student private loans. Reality ever slightly started to creep in. I know it's going to be a while till i finish paying off these loans but damn, am I going to be paying it off my whole life? I feel as if I have been living my life as if it was some kind of experiment and I could put myself into another body and live a life free of the mistakes I made in the "experiment" one. The thing is, there is no such thing! Did I lose you? Nevermind. The more I think about it, the more I just want to run away to some distant country but I can't really do that can I? I have to own up to my mistakes, buck up, and find that other job and go to the bank and see what I can do.
This looking for jobs thing is no joke either. I really have to start going out into the field on Monday and sell myself to find that second job. As of right now, I don't think I'll get a second look. I've gained a superfluous weight, have no money for a haircut, all my good clothes are at my apartment at school. I'm in a total *#&^hole right now. Well whatever happens after this, especially if it's good, will be because of some really hard work on my part and some luck, whichever comes first.
No comments:
Post a Comment