Movie Reviews

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Damn you M.J.!

      I may have stated, in one of my previous posts, that I learn things the hard way. Want some examples? Let's see...I could give you answers to the following questions with supporting experiential proof: Why do you not microwave eggs? Why should you not wear shorts and a see through hoodie during thirty degree (Fahrenheit) weather? Why should you not eat forty McNuggets thinking everything is going to turn out great afterwards? Why should you not pull two consecutive all-nighters to study for an upcoming exam and decide to fall asleep a couple of hours before taking it, thinking you could wake up? Now you can add another one to this ever-so-growing list. Why should you not hold a kitten when you're trying to give it a shower?
      How could I not understand something so simple but can explain the effects of Folic acid and Vitamin B12 deficiencies on the DNA and RNA synthesis platforms fifteen times over? I was naive to think that M.J. would be different from other kittens. In my head, she would be that one kitten that does backstrokes in the bathtub. Come on, water? Please, M.J. loves to stay dermally hydrated. Uh Uh! Damn, she almost cleaved my forearm clean off my body with her nails. I'm telling you, I'm spoiling this little one with my lack of common sense. I'm giving her extra portions and little treats for being a good sport. When I'm not doing that, I'm letting her sleep in my bed at night. After that, I let her wake me up at 5:30 in the morning and she has the audacity to puncture my skin and leave my roommate unscathed? Hell, he was holding the shower head.
      Right now, she's sleeping comfortably on my thigh. I just had a study session with my roommate on anti-platelet factors and mechanisms and there were times when I had to break concentration to grab a piece of plastic out of M.J.'s mouth. Sometimes she would jump onto my lap and start clawing at my legs. I want you to imagine a curved needle. Got that image? Now I want you to mentally insert that needle into the side of your thigh. Did it? Now pull up! ...All the things I do for this beast. Despite all these things, she never fails to jump into bed and sleep beside me. It doesn't matter in what shape or form, the female gender confuses the shit out of me.

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