Movie Reviews

Friday, September 30, 2011

Don't Be Afraid of The Dark

      Honestly, stress has been having a prolonged stakeout in my head for these past couple of days. If you ask me about the origins of the nervousness, school's the culprit. This part of the "Drugs and Disease" course was said to be easier than the other two parts. Easy my ass. I studied for hours on end and I still came out of that final with a "what the fuck just happened" look. In all seriousness, I can't afford to fail this course. As you can see, I need an outlet. So, why not a movie post. With my current luck, I'm bound to watch a really bad flick but this won't necessarily be a bad thing. It'll give me an excuse to flip shit on it. That'll speed up the healing process a bit won't it?
      What do you know about director Guillermo del Toro? Name sounds familiar? It should. He directed mainstream movies which include: Pan's Labyrinth, The Hellboy Series, Kung Fu Panda, Splice, and yadayadayada. What's the common theme in all of these flicks? Don't say that they were all crap. Tell me, who didn't like Kung Fu Panda? Not even I will dare to write a bad review on it. The underlying theme in all of these is the idea of fantasy or the belief in the fantastical. So, it's easy to predict what's to come from this film. Matter of fact, the whole introduction of this movie came off as very animated. Now wait a minute, I first chose to watch this film because I wanted to watch a new horror film. When you have a title like "Don't be afraid of the Dark", I mean, you should have ominous music spilling out of every pore in the scene to compensate right? Not Disney introductions. It looks like del Toro thought he was exempt.
      Guy Pearce, Katie Holmes, and Bailee Madison star in this 1973 horror movie that retells their troubling experiences with the goblins of the Netherworlds...Ok, it's not a movie from the seventies but hell, it sure seems like it should have been. The music, the crude transitions, the repeating screen shots of the Blackwood Mansion, all made it seem as if the movie industry rolled back the clock a billion times. Just as a side note, is it just me or is Guy Pearce seem like a cross between Brad Pitt and Matt Damon? 
      Anyway, Pearce played the role of Alex, a work-oriented father, divorced, who wants to get his career back on track by remodeling and selling the Blackwood Mansion. Little does he know about it's daunting history that was forcibly hidden from the public. Besides, one or two lines, I thought Pearce did a good job. Nothing much to say about Katie Holmes since the movie was predominantly centered on Bailee Madison, who played the role of Sally, a medicated, troubled, divorce torn youngster. Child actors tend hit home every time. I'm pretty sure that if I did say something bad about her acting, I would be escorted straight to the gates of hell without a seconds notice. 
      I'm trying really hard not to give away the ending but it's not like you wouldn't figure it out within the first fifteen minutes of the movie. This review is long enough. Would I hit the replay button on this one? Hell to the no. I'm telling you it's a waste of time. But if you are bad-ass and watch it anyway, I want you to let me know what you thought about the librarian's comment about the Vatican's involvement in all of this. I thought that idea was pretty freaking hilarious. Since when did the Vatican like to share children? 

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