Monday, September 26, 2011
For as long as I could remember, "Maya" has always been that girl. You know, the person who you couldn't really place a finger on or pinpoint. The one that you sometimes secretly thought about and, at other times, just stayed content with her presence in your life. The name "Maya" is a pseudonym, I can't disclose her actual name. If she, somehow, catches a whiff of the existence of this blog entry and reads it, then everything will be prematurely blown to shit. At least this way, I have a pathetic little excuse to hold on tightly to when she does confront me. It doesn't really matter though because any hope of this even working is null and void. After four broken relationships, not counting the two that didn't really end up anywhere, I should know better.
She's beautiful, oh my sweet Lord is she beautiful. If I wouldn't be assumed to be some kind of creep-ish visual stalker, I would just enjoy the sight of her all day. Being innocently gorgeous is just the icing on the mouth-watering, delicious, hazelnut-almond cake that is Maya. Did I just compare her to a cake? Chyeas! Hahaha, let the idiotic analogies continue! She's lovable. With her distinct smile and easy to please nature, it makes me somewhat jealous that another is enjoying the pleasure of her company.
Sometimes before class lecture starts, I would quickly peek behind me to see if she is sitting somewhere close. No one would think twice about it because Maya is a friend of mine and not another acquaintance. We've known each other ever since the instigation of this program in our lives. The five star problem lies in the fact that she has a boyfriend and that for quite some time now. In actuality, this turns out to be a good thing. I don't really need another relationship. Honestly, at times, I do secretly wish that she was one of my failed attempts. At least then, I would have shared nice intimate memories with her.
Maybe, I will tell her. Certainly not today, but when right opportunity presents itself. Nothing will become of it but it's about the time that I made the choice and owned up to what's unfairly rousing inside me.